Random

TEACHER: Who is your favorite author? PUPIL: George Washington. TEACHER: But George Washington never wrote any books. PUPIL: You got it.

LIBRARIAN: Why don't you take home a Dr. Seuss?  PUPIL: I didn't know he made house calls.

TEACHER: How many books did you finish over the summer? PUPIL: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.

TEACHER: How many books have you read in your lifetime? PUPIL: I don't know. I'm not dead yet.

TEACHER: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe? PUPIL: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.

TEACHER: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War? PUPIL: It doesn't tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing.

My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.  I couldn't find the words to thank him.

If you don't know what the word "dictionary" means,  where would you look it up?

TEACHER: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window? PUPIL: You told me to open it up to the Middle East.

TEACHER: Where is South America?  PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Where is Greenland?  PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Where is Bulgaria?  PUPIL: I don't know. TEACHER: Look them up in your textbook. PUPIL: I don't know where that is, either. ( Quote not by me )